Newsflash Coal needed for Future Competitiveness

The National Energy Technology Laboratory (NETL) has & is spending millions on investing in coal which the agency says is part of the U.S. Strategic vision towards being energy independent and competitive in the near and distant future. NETL which operates under the Department of Energy (DOE) announced nine projects intended to develop technologies to extract Rare Earth Elements (REEs) from coal byproducts.

REEs are a group of 17 elements found in the periodic table. REEs can be found in light rare earth (LREEs) or in heavy earth (HREEs). These elements are used in high technology and as substitute materials for other elements. To extract REEs coal mining will have to continue, but because REEs will be extracted during the coal mining process the environmental impact will be reduced because secondary mining won’t occur making mining for REEs a win-win says NETL.

Once as a kid I learned double negatives weren’t practical, in logic I  learned they were good for spinning facts & confusing the easily confused to get support for an idea or cause. NETL goes on to say mining for REEs will stimulate the economy which is music to most American ears. In an alleged press conference Director Grace Bochenek held a handful of dust saying these REEs are the future, she furthered just look at this extracted gold, noting its value as $200 dollars.

As Director Bochenek continued to speak an angry reported shouted didn’t it cost ten thousand to extract the gold dust, asking how does that help in anyway asked the reporter? Director Bochenek replied, sure it seems disparaging until you realize the people are easily fooled, I just told them it was patriotic to do this mining, so they agreed, more mining is needed. After the press conference Director Bochenek started to walk away when a reporter said why is that gold on your pants, blushingly Grace said, oh it’s leftovers from my gold plated shitter funded by taxpayers.

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