Moving Hamburgers Ok’d by FDA

The Food Safety Modernization Act (FSMA) was established by the FDA in 2011 to bring food safety laws into the 21st century. The change represented the biggest revamping of U.S. food laws in more than 70 years. FSMA’s purpose is to remove FDA focus from responding, to preventing food contamination. Additional actions like requiring food suppliers use veterinary oversight for growth hormone or antibiotic usage has elevated FDA standing with today’s legislators.     

Thousands of food suppliers use growth hormones, with FDA stringent guidelines one supplier has reduced its usage. Remaining suppliers have not changed their processes because the guidelines aren’t enforceable. Another sore spot is labeling, the FDA has extended the “Compliance Act” due date. Suppliers will continue calling dog meat beef, ostrich turkey and small rodents chicken. US food producer’s incomes are up across the board due to this replaceable food situation. During a Q&A session FDA executives said the new super cow (2,000 pounds at birth) is taking over the food supply.

The new super cow hamburger that still moves while on consumer plates and wiggles in consumer stomachs is the new gold standard of hamburgers. Although terrifying, this new moving hamburger will reduce colon cancer as the food will walk thru consumer bodies carrying impurities as it strolls thru. As the FDA works on Unique Facility Identifier (UFI) documentation, there won’t be a tracking mechanism to determine super cow origin. If the meat glows in the dark the FDA will ask for verification of contaminate removal, upon a 3rd request the FDA will fine suppliers ten dollars.

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